Clinic Stories

Heard at 2 AM

Snippets of calls that were received between midnight and 2 AM:

- "There is something wrong with my cat. He’s either got worms or is dying but I can’t bring him in."

- "My dog is sick." "How old is she?" "She’s the same age as me, 42." "Well that’s in dog years."

- "Do you know how to sex a bearded dragon?"

- "My cat just licked a statue of the Pope. Do you think he will be alright?" "Your cat or the Pope?" "The Pope!"

- "I found a preying mantis with an injured leg. Would you be able to set the leg." "I’m sorry, I don’t take care of insects." "Isn’t there anything I can do?" "Well you can keep him warm and feed him bugs."

- "What would happen if my dog ate a whole plate of marijuana brownies?" "Are you telling me your dog ate a plate of marijuana brownies?" "No, I was just curious."

- "Put in your teeth John. We’re taking the cat to the vet."

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